Friday, February 28, 2014

What is your love language?

So in line with my previous post on what marriage is all about, I decided that it is very important for people to know and understand their love language not just for marriage but to better relate with people. People have varying ways on how they express their affection, given our different backgrounds and upbringing it affected our perception on love. Gary Chapman was able to sum up the most common of ways into 5:

Love Language
Builders
Downers
Affirmation
Compliments, affirmation, kind Words
Criticism
Quality Time
One to one, no interruptions, face to face
Distractions, diverting attention
Receiving Gifts
Gifts with thought
Forgetting special days
Acts of Service
“Can I help?”, proactiveness
Helping others when they say they need help
Physical Touch
Positive touch, hugs, holding hands
Negative touch
 

 So below are a series of questions that will help you assess you primary love language, you have to tally all numbers in the end. Just pick the best answer you relate to. These questions are retrieved from the activity questionnaire that I did during the One in Love summit. 



Question 1

I like to receive notes of affirmation from you.
A
I like it when you hug me. E
E
Question 2

I like to spend one-to-one time with you.
B
I feel loved when you give practical help to me.
D
Question 3

 I like it when you give me gifts.
C
I like taking long walks with you.
B
Question 4

I feel loved when you do things to help me.
D
I feel loved when you touch me.
E
Question 5

I feel loved when you hold me in your arms.
E
I feel loved when I receive gifts from you.
C
Question 6

I like to go to places with you.
B
I like to hold hands with you.
E
Question 7

Visible symbols of love (gifts) are very important to me.
C
I feel loved when you affirm me.
A
Question 8

I like to sit close to you.
E
I like for you to tell me I am attractive/ handsome.
A
Question 9

I like to spend time with you.
B
I like to receive little gifts from you.
C
Question 10

You words of acceptance are important to me.
A
I know you love me when you help me.
D
Question 11

I like to do things together.
B
I like the kind words you say to me.
A
Question 12

What you do affects me more than what you say.
D
I feel while when we hug.
E
Question 13

I value our praise and try to avid criticism.
A
Several inexpensive gifts from you mean more to me than one large gift.
C
Question 14

I feel close when you are talking or doing something together.
B
I feel closer to you when you touch me often.
E
Question 15

I like it when you compliment my achievements.
A
I know you love me when you do things for me that you don’t enjoy doing.
D
Question 16

I like for you to touch me when you walk by.
E
I like it when you listen to me sympathetically.
B
Question 17

I feel loved when you help with my chores around the house.
D
I enjoy receiving gifts from you.
C
Question 18

I like it if you compliment my appearance.
A
I feel loved when you take time to understand my feelings
B
Question 19

I feel secure when you touch me.
E
Your acts of service make me feel loved.
D
Question 20

I appreciate the many things you do for me.
D
I like receiving gifts that you make.
C
Question 21

I appreciate and enjoy the feeling when I get your undivided attention.
B
I really enjoy the feeling when you do things for me.
D
Question 22

I feel loved when you celebrate my birthday with a gift.
C
I feel loved when you celebrate my birthday with meaningful words.
A
Question 23

I know you are thinking of me when you give me a gift.
C
I feel loved when you help me out with my chores.
D
Question 24

I appreciate it when you listen patiently and don’t interrupt me.
B
I appreciate it when you remember special days with a gift.
C
Question 25

I like to know you are concerned enough to help with my daily tasks.
D
I enjoy extended trips with you.
B
Question 26

Kissing me unexpectedly excites me.
E
Give me a gift for no special occasion excites me.
C
Question 27

I like to be told that you appreciate me.
A
I like for you to look at me when we are talking.
B
Question 28

Your gifts are always special to me.
C
I feel good when you are touching me.
E
Question 29

I feel loved when you enthusiastically do some task that I have requested.
D
I feel loved when you tell me how much you appreciate me.
A
Question 30

I need to be touched every day.
E
I need you words of affirmation daily.
A




R esults: Add up the answers per Letter. The total of all 5 letters should be 30. The one with the highest number is your primary love language. Do not worry if you get equal results per letter, it just shows that you value them both. This will at least give you an idea on how you express love.

A - Words of Affirmation
B - Quality Time
C - Receiving Gifts
D - Acts of Service
E - Physical Touch

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