Monday, August 11, 2014

[SELF] Why bring a child into this world?

Over and over I have asked this question. I could not understand the logic and the sanity of having/raising a kid in today's world. The world for me is just too ugly, greedy, dirty, sinful, and its dying. I am scared of the future and the troubles it will pass onto this "being" who I imagine is with God. Why would I allow my "kid" to be born and suffer all of the world's harshness... I am afraid that by the time he/she comes into the world, there maybe no more trees, no stars to see, no place to run, no water to drink, no honest person to talk to, and simply a very hard horrid life. I am terrified of the future and all that it brings.

Its a mental struggle. On one hand, I do enjoy the idea of a kid I can spend my life with. A kid I can watch grow, do activities with, share ideas with, and love without fear. Give purpose to this life. Yes, its selfish. Having kids is really the decision of "parents". Its all about what the "parents" want and not what the kid wants. On the other hand, I am terrified of the thought of giving "the world"'s burden to someone (esp my "kid"). I have this lingering emotion that I do not want to add to the world's people list of "misery". For me, life is really work...never ending work. Why not just adopt and help a current needy person.

But God has plans, He let my partner into my life. We discussed about this before and he told me that he really wants kids in our future. Then I mentioned to him my fears and troubles with the "futuristic world". I really did not want to have kids. I remember him telling me that he would love to think that "our kid" will be a good soul/ good influence/ good change into the world. At that time, I did not understand it and simply shrugged it as his personal "life goal". Now fast forward, 7 years of being together and of being exposed to different realities of life, I now see the "joy" that people have when they are around their kids... I can feel it when I am around them. The glow. It felt like real joy... a perfect match. There was just an innocence to the "emotion" that gave me hope. I now see kids in my future (whether my own or adopted... whichever God wills).

Then I saw this commercial by Unilever called Project Sunlight which inspired me to write this blog. Hopefully I was able to "help" anyone out there who have the same questions. The video reminded me what my partner told me before about kids being the change. That God had a purpose for every soul that comes onto this Earth. We just have to trust Him. Trust that there is a divine power over all our fears, insecurities, and hate. The possibility of "your kid" being a good influence to someone in the future is more than enough for him/her to exist. We are lost souls. We need help. We need one another. We cannot let fear dictate our every action, its not living. Trust and believe that there is a divine reason for everything. Follow God's design and if He blesses you with a child then its for a GRAND reason. Do not fear. The world may just be better with your kid in it.